Futari
by alirodina
Summary: several years after dekim's thwarted plans, heero seeks out duo in a church where the latter had been serving as a priest


Gundam Wing: Futari

Author's note: This is not mine. Although I must admit that as a young girl when I first watched the series, I really didn't get to understand everything that happened… I still think it rocks. And Endless Waltz is cool, except for the fact that Treize suddenly had a daughter so there could be a movie… anyway, this may be a bit of a yaoi fic. I'm still deciding on that, but you see, I really don't like Relena that much. So, Shalom! And by the way, Duo alludes to a lot of fictional characters here. So I hope we all know our literature.

Part 1: White Wings

And if I love you

What's that to you?

You'll love someone else

And I know who.

From A Song of the Sea by George Barker

I stumbled at the very steps to the church. It didn't really matter, as it were. What were a few more bruises to my already battered body? And my soul ached so much no material pain would ever compare. But my hand reached out for the crumbling pillars that supported the porch unsteadily, probably automatically, even instinctively. And the sudden movement was enough to plunge me into nearing oblivion. It was as if Death's cold hand had suddenly reached out and caught me unawares from behind. The ground seemed to twist out from under me, and I surrendered to the cold comfort of unconsciousness wherein pain could not follow.

I did not make it after all.



" Father?"

I tried not to laugh at the rather compromising situation the goodly Sister Laura had caught me in. After all, priests don't crawl around their bellies to peep under furniture. Neither do they move around the vestry in their flannel nightshirts. As it were, it really wasn't that I wanted to show everyone how slender and pale my legs were. It was just that I woke up to the fact that I was to perform the morning mass and had lost the black notebook wherein I had written down my sermon as dictated by my superior. It was already a quarter before six o' clock, and still, no book. And here I was in my rather revealing nightshirt with a disapproving nun at my heels. This is certainly not my lucky day. " Yes, Sister Laura?" I said, in my authoritative voice, making as if I was in the traditional clerical collar and black ensemble; the very picture of holiness and dignity rather than the state of distress and undress that I really was in.

" There is some matter that requires your immediate attention… really, Father, what are you doing down there?" she snapped at me in a manner that would have given Miss Minchin herself a run for her money. I looked up at her formidable eyebrows and wondered if she ever showed such a face to the faithful and if they ever returned to the unsafe vicinity of the church after.

" I wonder if you have seen my little black notebook, Sister? I seem to have misplaced it and it contains my sermon for today. Not to say my really remarkable doodlings of everyone in the parish, my superior in particular, which shows such promise in the realms of editorial cartooning." I answered, smiling mischievously for a moment before turning towards her who was towering me with her considerable bulk with a solemn face characteristic of every priest alive… and dead for that matter.

" Forget about that for a moment, Father. Father Braddon would take care of the mass for today. Goodly Sister Emilia was out to water the plants by the side of the church when she saw a man collapsed on the steps in a faint, it seems. He has been carried to the infirmary. But he's really in a bad way, and Father bids for you to perform the needed rites just in case…" the nun was bustling as she spoke, giving me my scapulare, fresh from the launderers it seemed, and helping me out of the accursed nightshirt like the child that I probably was in her aged eyes. Consequently, the thought of respect for a priest and his dishabiliment had never entered her kindly head. " Make haste, Father."

" Sure, sure, Sister Laura. But what is this rush all about?" I quipped, as we rushed past the gloomy corridor like mendicant friars out for the gold of their unwary prey. " He is not dead yet is he? And who are we to give a living man up when the Lord Himself never gave up on us sinners?"

This was answered with a sigh that could have belonged to the mocking turtle itself. And a frown that would have scared even Hepzibah Pyncheon. " If only we all possessed such hope as you do, Father,"

I opened the door to the infirmary in the while and was assaulted by the strong smell of medicine and disinfectant. " Oh, not really. Let me tell you a little secret, Sister. I never had hope, really. I was in the war, you know, drafted in a thing that I was forced to understand, and where I could have lost my life. But I was happy. Because I never really expected anything. I was a happy to be alive and death was a friend. Why worry?"

And then I entered. Not bothering to see how she took it.



I felt someone touch my forehead. Cool fingers pushing stray strands of hair from my forehead. A gentle touch. Strangely familiar. Maddeningly elusive. A voice calling my name.

" Heero!"

I wanted to open my eyes. But it required too much effort. My body seemed to be weighed down with lead. " Relena…"

I could sense the presence draw back, recoiling it seemed. But the hand never left my face. " I am here, Heero. Sleep now, rest now, dear." gentle voice, but it seemed wrong, somehow. Wrong memory was it? I was dreaming, that is what must be happening. But I couldn't get the thought that something wasn't as it should be in my mind.

" Don't leave me." It was a pitiful thing to say, but I was too tired to care. Besides, it was what I wanted, wasn't it? Why be ashamed…. Why, indeed. When it was a dream, anyway, and I was going to die.

" No." I wondered if the word was negation to my thoughts or confirmation of my spoken word. " Hang in there, Hee-chan."

And then it snapped into clarity.

" Duo?"



I made a face as he said my name. And so he found me out, anyway. _And silly, wasn't that what you wanted in the first place? _Well, maybe. But that wasn't a very good thing to say, little voice in my head. Oh, annoying voice of Reason.

_And when he called out her name in his pain, did it not hurt you more than you would care to admit? Had he not said your name, you would have thought that he had forgotten you, right? And who are you, Duo? _

Will you kindly shut up?

_Who are you to him?_

" Hey, there, Hee-chan." I said, ignoring the question that seemed to nag at my conscience with the persistence of a toothache. " Long time no see, huh? And so, what's so important that you have to get beaten up for it?" I crossed my legs languidly as I looked at his pale and empty face. He had the seeming beauty of a mannequin. And had as much feelings as one. " Or, as is usually the case, would you go ' omae wo kurosu' ing me again?"

" Shut up."

" Ah, the typical Heero Yuy comeback." I looked away, wanting to go where my gaze landed: away from here. But the silver crucifix that hung from my neck reminded me otherwise. And when did I ever leave Heero when he needed somebody? " Have you ever had that said to you, I wonder? Do you know how it feels, Heero?"

" What?" he asked, grudgingly. He was recovering from his wounds. But wasn't that what should be happening, anyway? Weren't we genetically altered so that nothing short of complete obliteration would get rid of the being they trained and sent to destroy the world? He was looking at me with a sullen expression on his face. Probably disappointed that I wasn't his lady love. Or maybe even angry that I have to hear what he had said earlier.

" Nanda mo nai." I muttered. And what was the use of admitting that I was hurt by his abrupt attitude? I have never let it on that anything could trouble my happy serenity, have I? At least, not to him. Talk of wasted effort. And as I remember it, did anybody ever knew when I was hurt?

Not that anyone would care. Ours was not the cuddly community.

" It was good that you got here, of all places." I said, for the sake of saying something. " At least I knew what to do. And you wouldn't be examined like you had been last time." Yeah, remember that last time, Duo. When the only thing that saved the man you tried to take away was his beloved's voice.

" Hm." He answered me, looking at the water stains on the cracked ceiling.

" It's that hard to look at me and thank me, huh?" I said, rising.

" Why?" he asked, as shortly as he always did. I could feel anger rising within me. Well, that's nothing new at least. Anger and frustration was synonymous to me with Heero Yuy.

" Why? Why don't you tell me that?" I snapped, impotent fury making me clench my hands into fists. Would that he wasn't invalid. I would have shaken him.

" Why did you help me, I mean." He explained. Couldn't even meet my eyes. Anyway, if he had, I would have strangled him.

" Why, huh?" I reached out and pulled at the black fabric of the scapulare impatiently. " You see this? I'm a priest, Heero. Done and sworn. Help your fellow beings and all that crap. At least I have more direction in life than someone who runs after a girl he knows he couldn't have, however much they love each other." I hadn't intended it to sound so bitchy. And bitter.

His eyes widened at me. Was it with hurt? Shock? Whatever. I wasn't going to apologize.

" Shout if you need something." I said, as a parting word. " The nuns would be taking care of you."

" Why did you become a priest, Duo?" he asked, almost as if he really cared what my answer would be.

" Well, that's my problem, right?" replied I as I made my way to the door. No doubt Sister Laura was waiting for me in my quarters to remind me of my slight earlier and what I meant by it. The prospect was not inviting. But so was staying with Heero right now. It used to be that I was the one who pissed him. This priestly business was probably turning me soft. Yeech!



" And so, how was this man Sister Emilia had found on our steps?"

I looked up from the rather large if over cooked joint of chicken to my superior's swarthy face as slowly as I could without gaining reprimand. " Oh, he'll be fine. I never knew a man to heal so quickly. He was in the wars you see. Whatever happened to him would have been nothing."

" I see." I thought that that was the last of it, but Father Braddon had just paused for the sake of savoring the excellent mashed potatoes someone from the kitchens had the blessing of God in making. This finished, he went on. " You were in the wars, too, right? Do you know this guy?"

" Uhm… a bit. We see each other now and then. Used to, I guess. When the war ended, he just sort of disappeared. I studied theology and forgot about it, I guess. Didn't know he was on earth, anyway." I avoided his eyes when I said this. I didn't really know why. It was just that my life during the war was something I wanted to think of as the past, something that must be forgotten. And then Heero had to appear and remind me of it all. And now this inquisition style interview!

" How was it in the wars, Father Maxwell?" my superior was looking at me somewhat curiously, peeling oranges as he did so. This was probably why there are too many fat priests. They eat too much and only move from the vestry, across the aisle and straight behind the altar. Must remind myself to try and exercise sometime.

" Well, just the usual. You can't really trust anybody there." I said, evasively.

" You try to work by yourself and believe in your own decisions. I guess it's pretty much like living anyway. And you might die anytime, without ever knowing."

" Were you ever…"

" Scared? A bit, I guess, who wouldn't be."

" Lonely, I mean?"

" I- I… well, fighting can really be lonely sometimes. But I had my MS anyway. He's been really such a friend." Can't believe I was stammering. But how come I've never pondered on this before? Have I ever been lonely then? " It didn't seem to matter… when life and ideals are at stake."

" I see." He repeated his sentence.

" Can you excuse me? I don't feel so good."



I was staring at the ceiling for so long my vision had blurred and had gone unfocused. My whole body was throbbing with the healing bruises, but I was used to that. In fact, it comforted me, somewhat. Corporeal pain I could deal with. But not this aching of my soul.

I was tired.

I tried to remember her face when we last separated. It was the last meeting, of course. She had to move on. And I wasn't the man for her. Nothing seemed to fit.

And yet all I could remember was _his _sullen face when he told me that he helped me because of his duty as a priest. Funny, but I have never thought of him filling in such a solemn office as this. Showed how little I knew of him. But didn't everybody? After all, before we became Gundam pilots, we were nothing. But maybe he was.

And he was really angry then. Was it something I said?

_Why are you worrying, Heero? It's not like you cared before, right?_

Hm. Right. Must be the vision of him in that dark priestly garb, teasing me with his easy smile. It had always been like that. He offered me his friendship like a fisherman dangling his bait. And I guess I took it.

After all, I do admit that I needed him, in a selfish sort of way.

_And he was so gentle just now, right, before you gained consciousness? And you need that. She never gave you that. With her, it was all threats and merry go rounds. At least you are safe in his friendship, even if he could talk the snail out of its shell._

Shut up.

And he asked me if anyone had ever told me that. And did it hurt. Have I hurt him? Was that why he asked? Or was he rambling on without knowing where he was going conversationwise, as usual?

But I didn't want him to be hurt. It seemed cruel, somehow.

" Hee-chan."

I turned towards the door to the infirmary. He was slouching by the doorway with his arms akimbo. Typical. " Hm?"

" You didn't tell me she dumped you." He said, callously.

" How?" I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me look away in hurt, so I fixed my eyes on his.

" Saw on the news." He straightened out, coming towards me slowly with rather threatening steps. " Guess the guy tried to get you killed, huh, without her knowing? Plan it to be the greatest wedding surprise ever?" he was close enough to place his hands on the edge of the bed and peer at me closely. I quelled the urge to blush and turn away.

" Hee-chan, doesn't it hurt?"

I didn't expect him to ask about that. " My bruises hurt."

" Not the same, and you know it." He grinned. Himself again, in control of the situation now that he's known about my rather pitiable circumstance. " You amuse me, and I might tell you why I became a priest. If you want to know really."

" It seemed to be the only way, get it?" I snapped. " I don't have a place with her. I… I don't have a place with anybody."

" You didn't want the place, buddy." He retorted. " Serves you right now." But then he pushed away my bangs as gently as before, an added " You could earn a place there with her, Hee-chan. It's all a matter of patience. And cunning."

" I don't want to." Petulant little child. And yet, I realized that I didn't, really. She seemed a dream I can never reach.

" And you make do with me?" he asked, surprising me.

" Didn't you come to look for me, Heero?" he went on, sitting down by the foot of the bed. I shifted so that my legs would not make contact with his body. This seemed to amuse him more. " You knew I was here, right? Hilde told you."

" Go on." Said I. I was loathe to admit any such thing on my part, but was pretty sure he'd get my silence as affirmation.

" But you haven't amused me yet."

" You were the only one I could go to, Duo." I complied. I wondered if I had a fever. Surely I wouldn't say such things if I am thinking straight.

" Hontou ni?" his voice proclaimed all of his doubts. And I couldn't blame him. This was, after all, coming from Heero Yuy. " What made you think I'll be here for you?"

" You always were." I quipped. " You've never failed me before, Duo." _And when I searched for her, did you not go with me?_

" Okay." He shrugged. " I became a priest because one brought me up. I took his name. And now his profession. Why? I guess that's as much a mystery to me as it is to you."

" You wish." I turned my back to him. But I don't think it offended him. " You loved him, is what. You love too quickly, Duo, just as you can't refuse those who need you."

" Hm."

Bastard. And he probably knew that since I had my back to him, I couldn't see his expression. That sound was not enough to prove anything. Either I turn around and face his disconcerting blue and violet eyes, or I talk more. I chose the latter, coward as I was then. " Would you refuse me, Duo?"

" Probably not."

It was out before I could think of it. Maybe it hurt him, I wouldn't know. I would have been, if I were him. I hated myself. " Could you pretend to be her for a while?"

The silence was so long I almost took it back. I wanted to turn around and tell him I was sorry; that I didn't look for him so that he would do this. He probably wouldn't have believed me, anyway. It seemed a treacherous thing to have asked. Hurtful. Selfish. I closed my eyes.

" Okay, Heero."


End file.
